Well, it’s about that time of year again. Head down to the local shop, and prove how much you love your friends and family by spending money on them. Don’t send the wrong message; spend up!
Seriously, I would encourage you to have thought about this about 6 weeks ago, and have considered either making a gift (we made a handsome set of building blocks for Ben this year), or have sought out some interesting hand-made items, either at a local artisinal shop or market. This would be a good way to “occupy” against corporate grossness. But it’s probably too late for that. You could (and should, if possible), still check out local possibilities, but if you’re like me, you’re looking for a one-stop solution, with guaranteed results. Well have I got the answer for you: The LCBO. Yup, who doesn’t like booze for the holidays? The terrorists, that’s who. Here’s some awesome quick solutions.
For Dad:
Steam Whistle 6-pack. In seasonal green cases, complete with a carrying handle, this excellent local pilsner also has a “card” printed right on it, so all you need is a pen to sign the case.
For Mum:
Muskoka Winter Beard Double Chocolate Cranberry Stout. It’s in a big 750ml bottle with a swing-top, plus it has yummy chocolate and Ontario cranberries in it. Yes, the label depicts a fellow with an enormous beard, but you can use that to illustrate why not all your decisions are bad (“at least I shave….”)(Yes, that sounds gender-biased, but so will this: I generally assume women have the sense to shop before the 22nd. Not all, but most).
For that uncle you’re never sure what to get:
OCB holiday pack. The Ontario Craft Brewers release seasonal mixed packs of OCB beers, letting you sample a variety of beers from a variety of brewers. This season’s pack contains a great mix of beers ranging from an amber ale to a smoked stout to a big IPA. Excellent beers from Ontario, and a great chance to introduce a non-craft drinker to some of our awesome brews.
For your older sibling who is way more patient than you:
St. Ambroise Russian Imperial Stout, Unibroue Grande Reserve 17, Olvisholt Brugghaus Lava Smoked Imperial Stout, Nøgne Ø Imperial Stout, all for ageing. These are four beers (Two from Quebec, one from Iceland and one from Norway) that are going to get better and better as time goes by. Depending on how much you love your sibling, buy a few of one, or of more than one, and explain that they should open one every year to compare. If they are the kind of person I assume they are, they can keep notes from year to year.
For your priest:
St Peter’s holiday gift-pack. A great boxed set containing a bottle of both St Peter’s Winter Ale and their Golden Ale, in the classic St. Peter’s medicine-style bottle, with a branded glass. Explain that to get in to heaven, you need to have had some of Pete’s ale. They do’t teach you that in seminary.
For your non-beer-drinking partner:
Black Oak Pale Ale. Because they don’t drink beer, so you’ll have to drink it for them. And it’s easily one of the best pale ales in Canada.
There you go, with my help, you’ve just ticked off most of you list. If you’ve got kids in your life, there is still plenty of great stuff you can get while you’re there. What child wouldn’t want the holiday issue of Food and Drink? Or one of the plug dealies you use to keep open wine bottles fresh (we all know kids can’t finish a bottle of wine in one sitting)? Or a branded re-usable shopping bag?
So here’s the plan, skip off work now, not at 5. Get to your local LCBO, before the crowds, and while you’re there, get a six of Tree Hop Head IPA or something lovely, to reward yourself with when you get home. Now you’ve got all your gifts, haven’t been near a mall, and have an evening’s worth of delicious beer to drink.
Happy Holidays!
