Very few brands in Canada are as iconic as the beer that bears our name. The Hudson’s Bay Company and Peterborough Canoe Company would be in the mix, but would still pale in comparison to our National Beverage. From the oldest brewery in Canada, Canadian has become synonymous with all things Canada, from killing beavers with a well shot arrow, paddling our canoes to the nearest glacier for a friendly BBQ of moose steaks, or watching the local hero Roughriders take on the dastardly out-of-province rivals the Roughriders in a well fought game of Lacrosse. Simply drinking it immediately converts you to a professional snowboarder, totally shredding up the pipe, brah. Girls wearing strange combinations of bikinis and down-filled full-length coats with sexy ski goggles will flock to you, as you crack a cold one with your bros, perhaps standing around a glacier BBQ’ing up some freshly arrowed wood bison. As Canadian spring is upon us, I can hardly think of a better beer to review.
Molson Canadian
From a 341ml ISB bearing the iconic label, the beer pours a dark golden yellow, like a Saskatchewan wheat field in September, supporting a thick noble head, reminiscent of a young Al Waxman. The aroma is thick with grains, cornfields that would make a Nebraskan hang his head in shame; dense and sweet, like when you were a kid and you would dump half a bottle of corn syrup over really cheap vanilla ice cream. Taste is an all-out assault of Canadiana, like a Rick Mercer rant jammed into a Carousel Bakery sandwich drenched in a reduction of Beaver blood and maple syrup, garnished with a bright red maple leaf. Echos of a duet between Geddy Lee and Celine Dion ring around your palate, harmonizing in a way that only a female alto and male soprano can. Finish is quick, you might even say fast, like a Conservative Prorogation of Parliament. You suspect something might be wrong, but it feels so right, you just go with it, standard practices be damned. As if I even need to say this, it’s one hell of a drinkable beer. Goes down easy, like a glacial river draining into a crevasse, sucking any living thing with it, dragging it to God knows where. Powerful. Hard to stop, once you start. Like being a Canadian.
Cheers to Molson, and happy first of April everyone.
