While most people look at Toronto Beer Week as a pleasant way to indulge in some of the best beer this city has to offer, this is, perhaps, a somewhat naive view. You see, with 10 days filled with more events than you can shake a yard-glass at, it takes tough mettle to endure the best of Toronto’s beer culture. The best way to raise your odds of coming out the other side of this in one piece, is preparedness. Like the British SAS say: Prepare for the worst; expect the best. Here is your survival guide.
Strategy
Knowing where you’re going and when is of the utmost importance. Thankfully, Toronto Beer Week has a Google map of the participants. You can find it here: http://torontobeerweek.com/2012-barbrewpub-map/. Grab your old mobile device, check that out, and import it into your own map app. Now you’ve got all the participants in your hand. Add to that your calendar, and you’re set. I know this sounds like overkill, but if you’re doing a 3-event night, you might just find yourself in need of a reminder where you’re heading next….. Check the full listing of events at http://torontobeerweek.com/calendar/ to decide where you’re going. Also, Mike Warner has put together a post on his picks for Toronto Beer Week, which is well worth checking out: http://ayearofbeer.wordpress.com/2012/09/12/toronto-beer-week-2012-preview/. I’ll be sporadically mentioning events too.
Communication
Sure, you could place a phone call to a ten digit number and make plans with one friend, but phone calls are totally last year’s stinky potatoes. Why not stick a note on a pigeon’s leg and hope for the best? For realsies dude, time to get yourself on Twitter. Toronto Beer Week is @TorontoBeerWeek, and I believe the hashtag they’re using this year is #TBW2012. Watch both of these and you will know what is cool, when. And tag them in posts/pictures for THE WHOLE (beer) WORLD to see.
Transportation
This one is simple: you’re either looking at a nice pair of Chucks, or you’re riding the rocket. No cars, that’s just dumb. If you’re not a metropass holder, go ahead and pick up a week pass, yours for just $37.50, and worth every penny. That’s the cost of just 12.5 rides at full adult fare.
First Aid
Style-marks awarded for intricacy of garnish.
Now, I know we’re all setting out with the very best intentions and everything, but hey, sometimes the unexpected happens. You might just find yourself hurting this Toronto Beer Week. Maybe in the morning sometime. You might need some help. While I’m a fan of the classic standby — the Caesar — beer-enthusiast and all-around science guy Derek Hyde has what he calls the “Scientific Solution”
- Rehydrate – start with water.
- Rebalance your electrolytes: sports drink, banana (potassium), maybe a fruit smoothie (for some additional vitamins, nutrients and raw sugar energy).
- Remove the acetaldehyde (toxic byproduct of metabolizing alcohol) with some eggs for breakfast (cysteine breaks it down).
- Reduce the headache with some caffeine (once your hydration is under control). While it wakes you up so you can face the day, caffeine is also a vasoconstrictor, which can help reduce a headache. Note: Tea will be easier on the stomach than an acidic coffee.
Politics
Wives like flowers. This is a fact. And not ones you yank out of a garden as you stumble home. Ones actually arranged and wrapped in paper with the little packet of junk you put in the vase to keep them alive. Start here: http://www.canadaflowers.ca/ (in case you’re wondering, “Sympathy Flowers”….). This is assuming you’re ditching her to go out drinking. Every night. For the next 10 days. If she’s coming along then you should be dandy. Actually forget that, buy her flowers anyway, just to show you’re a stand up partner.
Bosses and co-workers are more open-minded about you looking like a zombie, if they do too. Invite them out. Team building, you see? Seven habits of highly effective drinkers. Dogfish Head Principles. Ummmm, [something else corporate-sounding but changed to be beer related]. Seriously though, there are a bunch of great events that will be perfect for folks new to the craft beer scene. The more the merrier!
Most of all, get out there and have a great time. Go places you’ve never been, drink things you’ve never had, and meet people. We have a thriving beer scene here in Toronto, and we’re about to spend ten days celebrating that fact. Here’s to everyone who will raise a glass for Toronto Beer Week this year; it wouldn’t be happening if it wasn’t for you. Thanks.
